I hate to admit that I’m kinda getting used to this whole no dog thing. He has officially been pugnapped and I am starting to be sorta ok with it. I don’t have to go home immediately after work and walk him and I don’t have to walk him at 2 am when I get home from the bar on Friday night. This timeshare thing I’ve arranged really fits nicely into my life. Does this make me the most horrible dog owner ever or is it a win win? I feel guilty for not dying to have him around everyday, since Maximus really is the love of my life. I feel like the husband that is having a midlife crisis and just needs a European vacation with the guys. He gets to be a practice dog every other weekend (albeit a very long weekend) for a couple with 2 little kids, and mommy gets a break from the responsibility. The thunderstorms last night made me think about how I definitely would prefer to die WITH Maximus should there be a tornado.
This is a random aside, but I want J-Si to stop wearing the cologne he has on. Not because I don’t like the smell, but because scent is the closest thing to memory and to me it’s the smell of heartbreak. You know the emotions that get conjured up when you smell something? Fresh cut grass in the summer reminds me of soccer practices. Chance by Chanel reminds me of my best girlfriend Becca. Freshly tarred pavement makes me think of my summer walks to the local pool. I loved that smell of pavement…kinda weird? Anyways, perfumes and colognes really have an effect on me. I can smell people sometimes. When I’m in a bar and smell a certain cologne it’s like I know the person is there because I register that smell. I don’t know what the name of the cologne is, I know what the bottle looks like. Anyways, J-Si claims he’s been wearing it for 12 years. I don’t know how that’s possible considering I have only smelled it on him a handful of times and I always tell him, “grrr, stop wearing the scent of heartbreak.” He thinks it doesn’t matter because he has worn it forever. Do guys not have this same sense of smell? I already went through a period of time where breathing alone was difficult because I was so sad. Now I have to breathe in the scent of heartache. I know it’s a bottle of a guy’s torso, but since I don’t know the name I’m going to refer to it as, eau de “heart-ripped out, stomped on, don’t want to get out of bed, why?, leave me alone forever. J-Si is a betting man and a prideful one. This works in my favor. How can I bribe him to stop wearing it?
Thursday night was the show at Mckinney Avenue Tavern. Ticket sales were a little bit light for this one for a couple reasons. First of all Coolio has played my bar before. It was about a year ago and it was for Kellie’s birthday. Second of all, it was on a Thursday night. We had a crowd but there was definitely room for more warm thirsty bodies. But we made the best of it. Coolio put on a great show and signed every autograph and took a pic with everyone that asked. The show was over at 12am and then it was time to get him to the hotel so we could catch our flight in the morning.
The small dilemma that I was faced with at the airport was this. I bought Coolio and his crew “Coach” tickets. I bought my mom and myself Business class tickets. It was for her birthday so I wanted to treat her nice. I didn’t really know how to handle this small problem. So, I just made sure that when it was time to board, Coolio and his crew were several people in front of us. I don’t think he ever knew…problem solved.
Anyway, the introduction was pleasant. My mom and I were sitting in this airport restaurant when Coolio arrived. They came over and sat down. “Mom, this is Coolio. Coolio, this is Mrs. Mack.” They shook hands and we talked. The funny thing was at first, when Coolio and his boys were talking, they originally were being very cautious to NOT let and F-Bombs, MF-Bombs, N-words slip out. But as the weekend progressed, they couldn’t help themselves. They weren’t being disrespectful. They were just talking the way that they talk. I get that. Overall, they were very respectful and when we were all together as a group in the van, or just walking around, they were very cool.
Friday night was pretty calm. We did a sound check and made sure that all of the equipment was working properly. Then we went to dinner and everything was great. Coolio and the guys found some girls and they pretty much did their thing. I hung out with Mom and we made it a somewhat early night.
Saturday was the day of the show. The first thing that needed to be done was we had to build a wall. My bar there is very open where people can see from the street. So, since we were charging a cover charge, we needed some way to restrict the visibility. So, the bartenders, the Manager and myself started building a wall. 4 hours later, the wall was built. Coolio showed up around 5pm to hang out a bit and I got to witness some of his “Art” skills. 2 cans of spray-paint later, he had really made our wall look like some of the walls in Compton. It actually looked pretty good.
Around 8p or so, it was time for people to (hopefully) start showing up. I had told people 8 to get them there early. I mean the whole idea is to sell a few drinks. By 9, the bar had maybe 7 people in it and I was thinking that this was maybe the worst idea I had ever had. Where were the people? I had sold 40 tickets and I had given away around 50. Signs were up, flyers were up. Then, a local rolled into the bar and said, your boy is down the street and he is feeling NO Pain. He was talking about Coolio. OH, GOD… whats up?
I walked down to the bar and Coolio and the crew were nowhere to be seen. I was officially worried. I had No Crowd at the bar and I had no idea where my artist was. 30 minutes later, I found them hanging out in another room with some German chicks. Everything was Cool. I told him we would move the show to midnight since the crowd was (hopefully) arriving late. Back to the bar. Now it’s around 11p. I have a crowd. Some of them are getting excited because the show is about to start. Others are pissed because the show hasn’t started yet. But, I had to give people a chance to get there. Then, it was time. The Expedition pulled to the front. Coolio was inside. I walked him in. He got on stage and the party had begun. I looked at my manager Nate. We high fived each other. We had done it. Wow, success…3 minutes later, THE FREAKING POWER WENT OFF! OMG, really? I had a house full of customers, Coolio is in the middle of his second song and we had NO Electricity! I’m freaking out. Its not like I can call the 24hour electrician at midnight on Saturday night in Freaking Playa del Carmen. My sound guy, “Nacho,” had clearly loaded too much stuff and we blew a fuse. I don’t even know where the freaking breaker box is. Nacho is running around. I did the only thing I knew to do…
Tequila Shot…then I saw Nacho again. 15 minutes had passed but it felt like a lifetime. Nacho walked up to me and said… I think I got it. He had an extension cord in one hand and duct tape in the other. I could tell he was a little bit of as panic as well. 2-3 more minutes passed and we had sound. We still had no stage lights, but we had sound. I changed my pants and the show went on.
Everyone was drinking, partying, having a great time. Then I see the Policia outside. NOW WHAT??? My manager came in and just said: “These Mo#@#@ F#@#@@ers…
They wanted to shut the party down. Why??? Basically because they saw us “making money.” What o you do when that happens in Mexico? You ask: how much?
Answer: $10,000 pesos. About $800usd… Really??? YUP! We paid it and the party went on.
The party ended around 1am.
We did it! We made it to Clearwater Beach, Florida and back without any major problems! On the way out there, Cason was excellent, mostly because we flew during his nap time, and he slept the entire way. We did run into problem number one: they thought he was over 24 months… which means you have to pay for a whole ticket, and it gets pretty scary when they tell you that there are no more seats. We didn’t have his birth certificate with us, because he is still about 6 months away from turning 2. I had to convince the lady at the counter, who was extremely good at the whole customer service thing (sarcasm included in this statement), and her manager, that Cason was not two. This took us about 10 minutes. How did the manager finally agree that Cason was not 2? Because he kept pointing at the other lady saying “no!” The lady said that’s what her son did when he was about a year and a half. I also busted out my phone and found the first picture I posted of Cason on Facebook, proving his birthday. Boom! Facebook saved the day.
We ended up spending the weekend with two other families who also had kids. In total, we had two pregnant girls, 5 kids (7 kids if you count me and my buddy, Ryan), and a whole lotta screaming. I did not shotgun any beers, I did not have any hangovers, I didn’t see any drunk topless girls in Pinellas County, home of the speed skating champ, Kidd Kraddick. In fact, I probably had 5 drinks all weekend. We were too busy making sure the kids didn’t jump in the water. Yup, Cason got the courage to just go ahead and jump in after watching the older kids. Luckily, he did it while I was in the pool. Did he learn from his lesson? Nope, he was cracking up. He also managed to take his diaper off while we were not looking, and was streaking around the pool. We would have gone to the beach everyday, but Cason decided to try to eat some of the sand, so we decided to stay away from that business.
By the way, we did manage to make it home in time to watch the last hour of the Bachelorette! I am so sad that the drunk guy who kept trying to hook it up with Dez went home. They should have kept that mess around for another week or two. That is one case of persistency not really working out very well.
I couldn’t really fully enjoy the whole Bachelorette experience because I was a bit flabbergasted at how hateful some people can be. I have received some of that before, but it is usually after I said, or did something stupid. I can accept that, but when I post a picture of my family at the beach the morning of my family from earlier in the day before we hit the airport, I don’t expect to have other women bash my wife because she wore a two piece. I personally think pregnant bellies are beautiful. It’s not skimpy, or over the top. Granted, it was only a few people, but Kinsey saw the comments. What happened to women getting each other’s backs? I ended up taking the picture down… Kinsey this morning was actually upbeat. Yes, she was up early because of pregnancy insomnia… anyways she said, “you know what? It’s ok. I don’t care about those comments. I know you love me the way I am, and I like that bathing suit. Thats all that matters.” I just smiled and kissed her as I left and said, “and that is why I love ya!”
Desiree Hartsock is the new Bachelorette on ABC’s TV show by the same name. The premiere of the show is Monday, May 27th at 8/7c. But we had Reality Steve on the show today to give us a preview of the season… because after all, he is the one who know ALL the spoilers for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. He’s even been sued by ABC for it. But that doesn’t seem to stop him.
I really don’t appreciate the males at the gym telling me that even they don’t do the things I was about to undertake last night and how they have a handyman do that kind of thing. It’s not that I prefer to be the man of the house, it’s that I don’t have a man of the house, or even a man not of the house that can come be the man of the house. I am quite the procrastinator when it comes to most responsibility-related tasks that aren’t directly work related. Holly and I live in a condo that we are renting from a landlord, so this is our first experience with having to buy things like lightbulbs and AC filters.Holly is vacationing for weeks and weeks and yesterday I woke up from a nap drenched in sweat. The condo was a cool 85 degrees, set to 69. Oh so this is why I need to change the filter every 5-6 weeks, not every 5-6 months? When I turned on my bathroom light, one came on like I was living in an Amanda Bynes’ drug den. It was time to make the trip to the hardware store. So priorities first right? Gym, then fix stuff. My list was quite ridiculous.
*13 plus flood lightbulbs 75w or something
*lightbulb holder ceiling claw clingy
*7/32 drill bits
*copies of some keys
*AC filter think it’s 24x24xsomething in small inches
*ladder for midgets
That walk into Lowe’s was filled with trepidation and dread. However, I was a sweaty gym pig so I sorta fit in. I didn’t not get hit on once so perhaps I should have done myself up a bit. Actually, I don’t really care about that. I was just so beatdown by the whole process and my ignorance throughout it. I actually made it through without playing damsel in distress too hard and even talked my way into a discount on a new Ninja blender for my very feminine twice daily protein shakes! It only took me one hour to change the air filter but it got done! That was a first and last time thing for me. Now it’s onto changing the 13 plus lightbulbs…
Abercrombie & Fitch may need to do some damage control after a statement made by CEO, Mike Jeffries is coming back to haunt them. In a magazine interview, Jeffries talked about the type of people they want wearing the Abercrombie & Fitch brand:
“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he says. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either…
That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”
So, in response to Jeffries’ blatant exclusion of so many people, L.A. writer, Greg Karber started a Twitter movement (#Fitchthehomeless) that hopes to re-adjust the Abercrombie & Fitch brand! What do you think?
Around this time last year, we had a tree fall on our old house… almost to the day. Well, to celebrate the one year anniversary, the bad luck gods sent us a gift. I got a frantic text from Kinsey yesterday informing me that there were firefighters behind our house because a transformer blew up. Those can be pretty loud, and it definitely woke Cason up, and started a small fire that could have caught our fence and neighbors fence on fire. Luckily, we live pretty close to the fire station, and they got there in time to take care of the fuego.
Now, I know what you are thinking: what the heck was Optimus Prime doing behind my house, and what caused him to blow up? I have no idea. I tried to get some answers from the firefighter, but he just laughed, and did not reply. I am thinking it is some sort of government secret that I am not allowed to know about… OoooooBAMA!
Luckily, there was no damage to the house, and nobody was hurt. I just hope there are no more fights between cars that turn into huge robots behind my house. I wonder if they got into a huge argument and said, “let’s meet behind J-Si’s house at 8 am to take care of this!” Seriously, what happened to meeting at the park by a huge tree? Plenty of room to take care of business there. Oh well. Also, to answer your question: no, I am not on drugs.
Oh and don’t worry, that was not the only bad luck sprinkle. Apparently, Cason has hand, foot, and mouth disease. What is it? Some disease that causes your lil one to get a rash and blisters all over their body. This is why Cason has not been sleeping. I would tell you more, but the doctor we saw yesterday was a huge jerk. Our doc was busy, so they had another one see Cason. By the way, if you happen to be a pediatrician… shouldn’t you love children? Wouldn’t you be an extremely warm and welcoming person to the lil ones? Our usual doctor sure is. This guy was just cold, and as clearly annoyed that Cason was crying. Of course he’s crying, he has blisters on his hands, mouth, and feet. He’s getting poked. Your touching him with cold hands, and a cold stethoscope. The doctor didn’t really describe what the disease is… we actually had to go home and look it up because doc was a fan of the one word answer. He basically said: “he has hand, foot, and mouth disease.” Then we asked how we take care of it, what meds to buy, what could happen, how to avoid it in the future, and so on. He responds with, “just give a little TLC,” as he walked out the room. No handshake, no “let us know how he’s doing”, no high five for Cason… nothing. The man was walking around looking all morose, as if he were working in a funeral home. Geez. At least the nurse came back in, smiled at Cason, and gave him a sticker.
So, how did Cason get this? Because we took him to a company that babysits a bunch of kids. This is when having family in town would really help with the whole keeping a baby healthy and away from weird illnesses.
In a hotel room exclusive interview, Ed Sheeran talks to Kidd about being on tour with Taylor Swift, what's in store for his next album and the big project for his future that he's spending his money on!
Every now and then I have thoughts about decorating my condo, baking a pie from scratch, maybe organize the plethora of photo albums. After my nap, I tell myself. Then I go to the gym, the dog park, Whole Foods and maybe online shop. Actually these days it’s more like putting things into my online shopping cart and falling asleep before checking out. Why can’t I get into the home stuff? I know it’s in me somewhere…I think. It’s almost like someone you haven’t seen in so long you start to forget what they look like.
Post college, I moved in with my boyfriend at the time who was in law school. Being a journalism major and living in Cleveland, I didn’t have the easiest time finding a job. Actually for nearly a year I didn’t have a job. I volunteered at the hospital a few days a week and sat around the apartment cooking and having my own HGTV parties. You know the kind where you watch how to make a headboard or how to turn that plain IKEA dresser into something cool. I was like a Martha Stewart without the grace. Anyhow, I didn’t find that lifestyle particularly fitting for me. I wanted to work and feel like I had a greater purpose. Grass is always greener right? Well, in this case it actually was greener. I love working and I can’t imagine not. Even on those days I feel beatdown by the 3:30 a.m. alarm, get shitty comments on my Facebook wall, then leave work feeling untalented and lost, I still recognize that this is the path for me. Perspective gave me that. Back to my domestication handicap though. I blame Instagram for my low domestic-esteem. That’s a word I just made up for feeling bad about my lack of interior design and cooking abilities. I sift through photos of stunning apartments-even ones done on the cheap. I really hope I am bad at this because I don’t have the time to care, not because I am just plain bad. I’d love a new bed, but do you know how many training sessions and dinners I can get out of that money? Lots is the answer. Maybe by 30 I will get around to making my house a home…maybe.